Clear Sky BlogThe Great Healing

Healing my Confusion

Multiple signs confusing people

Mindfulness and Clarity Heal Confusion

Do you find life sometimes confusing? Do you sometimes blame your confusion on someone else? Or perhaps you beat yourself up for things?
Me, too.

Do you also like to explore?
Me, too. I invite you to explore this topic with me.

Here’s the insight I’d like to offer: Confusion is a lack of clarity, plain and simple. Fortunately, it is also a choice.

Why fortunately? If it’s a choice, it can be healed, and in fact meditating has shown me that it can be healed.

Understanding the source of our confusion

There are often things coming at me and demanding action and attention, like meetings, emails, news updates, and so on. I sometimes respond by getting confused, and this response is based on my childhood programming. For me, the confusion is largely based on worry about measuring up, or expectations about having things go well. For others, going into confusion might be about waiting for the hammer to fall, or not being heard, or that we found it the best way to get attention from a parent.

I’ve been practicing mindfulness for over twenty years. Being able to see what’s behind my confused states has helped me realize that the confusion is not mine or anyone’s fault. Meditation has empowered me to be responsible for finding the remedy. I’ve achieved greater clarity by exploring this dynamic of no fault and responsibility. How?
Let’s break it down.

These have been some key insights for me around how I go into confusion: (For each person this will be different, so I encourage you to investigate your own patterns.)

  1. I like to get things right and believe there is a correct way to do things.
  2. I have a hard time starting things because I want to know that I can get the task done, without mistakes, before I even start (and of course, this is not possible.)
  3. When confused about something, I feel stupid or think that there’s something wrong with me. So I tend to place blame outside of myself, and put it onto others or the situation.

If I allow all of the above to live in my mind, they drain my energy and this continues the confusion and stress of being indecisive. As someone who likes to explore, though, I’ve continued to intentionally learn about how the mind works, wanting to be free of confusion.

Photo by Damon Carr on Unsplash

Healing steps

Mindfulness practice

How do I get unstuck? By exploring through meditation and mindfulness to get a better understanding of how my mind works. I am not willing to sit back and stay confused. As I explore how my mind works I take steps, often incrementally, to change.

Systems and routines

I need to be intentional about getting clarity. I ask myself, do I have systems that help me? Such as a designated place and time to meditate or learn about mindfulness? Do I set reminders for myself to get prepared for meetings so I’m not coming in on my back foot? Do I limit the time I do emails so that I am in control of my inbox instead of the other way around? Have I given myself time to think through what needs to be done so I am not rushed in making a decision?

Responsibility

My biggest understanding came as a result of putting together all the insights I’ve had over the years.
That it’s no one’s fault. That there’s nothing and nobody to blame when things go wrong, or when my inbox fills up with requests or incomplete tasks.

The understanding that I can be personally responsible for my life has empowered me to believe and take action, proving that confusion can be healed.

After all, a pattern of confusion stems from and continues a hurt. Being empowered to act brings joy.

Empowered to act

I now feel empowered to follow the advice of one of the teachers at Clear Sky, to “Take action, and let the chips fall where they may.”

I’m certainly grateful for the times I’ve been to Clear Sky.
I feel more empowered, clear, and much less confused.

May all beings be well.

Dan O’Brien

Edited by Andrew Rogers

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