Holding space for unfoldment to happen
On a transformative journey to Uzbekistan in 2025, in honour of our inspirational and beloved teacher Qapel, we took our modern day mon-vent (monsatery + convent) on the road and shared space-holding. Attending to Catherine Sensei, our spiritual director and lineage holder, we experimented with sharing leadership. What unfolded was deeply healing and inspiring.
Space-holding is essentially like being a facilitator, cultivating the conditions for growth and connection to happen. Space-holders bring presence and awareness of group dynamics so that they can attune to what’s needed in the moment.
The Power of Rotation
Rather than relying on the same few leaders, we took turns. Everyone got to wobble and everyone got to shine. People we met were drawn to our energy- it was infectious and I believe that they wanted to connect with us because we were in such good states. Our buses became our meditation room and together we co-created a strong container for wisdom and compassion.
“Shared space-holding is a beautiful way to have everybody shine, improve their skills and meet where they wobble. It’s never always comfortable, and yet, that’s exactly where the magic happens”.
The practice of shared space-holding challenges everyone to step in and let go of any particular identities, like “I’m the leader” or I’m not the leader so I will step out”).
Where I Wobbled and Shone
I couldn’t default to or rest in being any one way. We were all in constant recalibration mode. Sometimes I initiated, sometimes I interrupted, sometimes I delegated and sometimes I stepped back. I wobbled with trying to find the right balance yet, there truly is no right way to be or space hold. I shone when I stood my ground and took a position in a disagreement with a fellow space-holder about my style. Though not received well in the moment, later he shared that it landed for him and that in hindsight he could see that although he didn’t like it, it was coming from a place of clarity. Learning how to work through differences of opinion allowed us to better honor and leverage our strengths.
The Power of Space-Holding
The power of space-holding was mirrored back to me and touched me personally when I got sick. At some point on the journey, it was my turn for a bout of digestive upset. Unable to hold down water, all I could do in that moment was lay down. Before I knew it, Jon was also down with a terrible migraine. We both lay outside, each on a sofa, with water sprinklers nearby cooling us. One by one, each member of our group came out to sit with and check on us. That way no one person was left to care for us, we received beautiful care and everyone got to each lunch. Jon and I got to receive deep care in a myriad of ways from our community. We both directly benefitting from the gift of being held with spaciousness and care.
Photo credit Ava Maclean
I was delighted when I often saw an orange berry called sea buckthorn growing on the road sides. After planting some at Clear Sky Center in 2008, I was identified with it. The mind can be so sneaky that way. I was ready to proclaim that I was the only one in the world who knew about this lovely fruit. Instead, I got to hold space for others to experience joy as they delighted in tasting it and discovering new recipes. There was so much more curiosity, engagement and shared ownership about the sea buckthorn we grow when I held space for others exploration, too.
An invitation for groups and teams
I thought sharing space-holder roles would require extensive training and come with multiple headaches. However, the joy of watching people step in was much greater than any difficulties we met. What would it feel like for each of us to let more in? To be able to trust others to hold space, guide us and hold us? It takes work to mature as an individual and as a group. It also makes so much more possible with way less effort. Space-holding invites openness and an agility to try on different ways of being that stretch our edges, even go against preferences—and huzzah, cultivate more joy. Mudita!
The planet and youth of today are calling us to hold space for them and a future that belongs to all of us. How will we come together and focus on what’s possible? By steering our attention to what we can do in place of the default news of “the world is going to hell in a hand basket”. Experiences like our journey to Uzbekistan fill me with experience and trust that we can do great things and co-create the world we want to live in, together. Shall we?